When I finish a piece of writing I’m particularly proud of, I usually do one thing: I send it to my mom. And sometime in the next 24 hours, I’ll get a text that usually goes something like this: oh my goodness, I love that! And for 24 hours after that, I’m basking in golden, glowy wonder at my own brilliance. I won’t lie, it’s pretty awesome.
Whether it’s a parent, a sibling, a partner, or a best friend, every writer needs ego boosts from the cheerleaders in your life to keep you going. You need someone to celebrate with you when you reach an important writing milestone, to gush about how awesome you are for pursuing your creative dreams, to remind you why you started writing in the first place when you’re stuck in the messy middle of draft eight and you want to chuck the whole thing into the trash.
However, it can be easy to fall into the trap of asking your cheerleading squad to play three roles they just aren’t suited for: critique partners, beta readers, and editors. Let’s take a look at what these three roles are and why family and friends are usually terrible choices for these roles.
What are Critique Partners, Beta Readers, and Editors?
In addition to cheerleaders, writers need people to give them honest, objective, critical feedback about how their story is functioning at various stages of the drafting process. This is where critique partners, beta readers, and editors—all of whom should not be family and friends—come in! Here’s a brief overview of each of these roles and when writers typically need them.
Critique Partners: Critique partners are writers just like you. They are actively working on their own manuscripts and writing careers, ideally within the same genres. When you work with a critique partner, you typically trade your works-in-progress and give each other feedback on what’s working and what isn’t. This process is typically a fairly casual one without a codified process or scope, and the depth of feedback exchanged is subjective to the critique partner’s preferences.
Critique partners are great for flagging a broad assortment of issues, from flat characters, telling vs showing action, and info-dumping to incoherent sentences, inconsistent descriptions, and even typos—all of which are dependent on your critique partner’s skills and willingness to spend time thinking about how to improve your manuscript.
Having this type of two-way relationship is crucial to writer success for many reasons, but here are two to think about for now: First, it allows you to see your work through a fresh perspective as you receive feedback from your critique partners. Second, it gives you the chance to read other people’s work with a critical eye, which will help you see your own work more critically as well. Learning to notice and analyze your partner’s particular writing challenges, weaknesses, and strengths will help you become more aware of your own.
Beta readers: Beta readers generally come in handy when you’ve completed the second or third draft of your manuscript and you need a reader’s opinion of how the manuscript works as a whole. Beta readers don’t necessarily need to be writers. However, they should be quite familiar with the expectations of your genre and should be a part of your target audience.* If your book was on a shelf at the bookstore or library, your ideal beta reader would be someone who would be interested in your book and be likely to buy it.
*A word on children’s literature: while it’s a good idea to get some feedback from children when you are writing for them, I think it’s better to prioritize feedback from parents or professionals who work with your target age group. Kids are usually generous with praise but lack the ability to fully analyze what could be better or why something isn’t working.
Related: Navigating the Beta Reading Process
Editors: Unlike beta readers and critique partners, editors are people you hire to work with you on your manuscript professionally. Good editors have extensive training and expertise in the type of edit you need, your genre, and the publishing industry. While feedback from critique partners and beta readers can have a wide range of depth and focus, editors analyze each element of your manuscript strategically and systematically.
Why Family and Friends Make Terrible Critique Partners, Beta Readers, or Editors
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your writing with people you can trust to be emotionally supportive. But expecting loved ones to be able to provide the type of technical support you need to take you from your early drafts all the way to getting your manuscript ready for publication puts unfair pressure on them—and on you.
First, there’s the issue of bias. True objectivity is hard to achieve, and it’s especially hard when loved ones are involved. Even if people do have critical feedback for your work, they might be too nice or too worried about causing offense to give it. And if they decide to give critical feedback to you anyway, it might cause hurt or frustration in your relationship.
Criticism often stings, even from people you’ve never met. When you receive it from family and friends, even if you truly want critical feedback, it can be downright painful. If you’re serious about improving your work and finding a path to successful publication, you should seek out objective, honest feedback without laying any relationships on the line.
Another important reason to avoid seeking critical feedback from loved ones is their lack of expertise. They might be avid readers—even avid readers of your genre—but unless they are successful writers or publishing professionals in their own right, they likely won’t be able to provide you with targeted feedback that will help you take your manuscript one step closer to publication.
This isn’t to say that your loved ones won’t have any useful feedback at all, but their lack of writing and publishing expertise means that they won’t be the best judges of how to improve your manuscript and help you advance toward your writing goals.
Wrapping Up
If you’re lucky enough to have supportive family or friends in your life who are happy to cheer on your writing endeavors, relish it! Go to them for encouragement. Vent your frustrations to them. If you’re feeling brave, share your writing with them—but do it without the expectation of receiving the type of feedback that only good critique partners, beta readers, and editors can give. Doing so will prevent you from being sent in the wrong direction in your work or worse, tainting a relationship with those you care about.
When you are ready to bring critique partners, beta readers, or editors into your writing community, I recommend looking for them in places like CritiqueMatch, writing-oriented social media groups, local or national writing organizations, and writing conferences. You’re much more likely to find people who understand your writing struggles, point out strategic ways to improve your work, and help you work toward your writing and publishing goals.
Happy writing!